Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.

  • If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

  • And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

  • One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

  • Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

  • How hungry was the first person who opened an oyster and STILL ate it?

  • Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

  • Our local Feng Shui Shop went bankrupt in a fortnight. It was in the wrong place.

  • The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

  • But the early bird still has to eat worms.

Meanwhile in Ukraine

A police office in Ukraine pulls over a drunk motorist in a bath tub