Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
How hungry was the first person who opened an oyster and STILL ate it?
Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.
Our local Feng Shui Shop went bankrupt in a fortnight. It was in the wrong place.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
But the early bird still has to eat worms.