I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot
Men are always whining about how we are suffocating them. Personally, I think that if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
My reality check bounced.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'