I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
The difference between the Pope and your boss....The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
I had a blind date last night. Her name was :. .:: :.: .:. .::.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
It's a small world. So you've got to use your elbows a lot.
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
My friend is engaged in a major custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back.