You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
Woman are like Prawns. Their heads are full of shit, but their pink parts are quite awesome.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
The income tax has made more liars out of people than golf has.
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.