Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.
Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.