It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
No one is listening until you break wind.
I was at a restaurant yesterday. I asked the waiter for the black pepper, and he gave me the Sowetan.
I love animals - They taste great!