Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined.
My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again!