Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
On quiet nights when I'm alone, I like to run my wedding Video backwards just to watch myself walk out of church a free person!
I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Have you ever considered how evil a chicken omelette is? They kill the chicken, chop it up and cook it inside their own babies... Too bad it\'s delicious.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.