Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

  • There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an aeroplane: Either you have diarrhoea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.

  • I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

  • Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

  • I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.

  • Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

  • The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get suckered into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house!

  • Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

  • And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

  • Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn



Parking in small spaces


A woman show that if there a will there's a way - no matter how tight the parking space is