Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom.
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?
Boldly Going Nowhere
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
Woman are like Prawns. Their heads are full of shit, but their pink parts are quite awesome.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong.