Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Have you ever considered how evil a chicken omelette is? They kill the chicken, chop it up and cook it inside their own babies... Too bad it\'s delicious.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.