Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

Boldly Going Nowhere

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating outside the family.

Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.

Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.