If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Take all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on the son-of-a-bitch who screwed us in the past.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.