If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

Fight Crime: Shoot back!

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Beer - helping white people dance since 1837.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL"

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.