People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.

The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming----wow----what a ride!!