I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

The greatest enemy of man is alcohol, but the bible tells us to love thy enemy...... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

If you have them by their balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.

The difference between the Pope and your boss....The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.

This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, bonuses and promotions.

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.