I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name...
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.