Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Always tell the truth. Then you don't have to remember anything.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL"
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now!
Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.