Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

  • In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

  • Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

  • Definition of pressure:.....A wife, a mistress and a mortgage all a month late.

  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  • The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

  • I'm not a snob. I'm just genuinely better than you are.

  • NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?

  • Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "Ctrl-Alt -Delete " and start all over?

  • My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.