I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses...He drinks straight out of the bottle.
If Tennis Players get Tennis Elbow...Do gynecologists get Tunnel vision?
I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free???
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL"
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.