What are the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
Bricks are horrible to carry.
Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.
It's better to have Loved and Lost than to live with an asshole the rest of your life!
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.