Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.

  • Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

  • As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

  • I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'

  • Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

  • I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

  • Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.

  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

  • Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

  • Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

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