Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Genetic scientists in the US have used genes from Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzanegger to create a clone and have called it ... Michael Wasanigger.
When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.