Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?

Red meat is not bad for you, but fuzzy green meat is.

If Tennis Players get Tennis Elbow...Do gynecologists get Tunnel vision?

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been doing since 15