Shopping tip: You can get shoes for $10.00 at the bowling alley.

There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!