He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!

It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

Fight Crime: Shoot back!

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

One should love animals. They are so tasty.

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.