
People: Africa's scratching posts!
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other: "I'll man the guns, you drive."
Beer - helping white people dance since 1837.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Makes sense)

People: Africa's scratching posts!