Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts!

  • Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...

  • Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.

  • When I die, I want to die like my grandfather -- who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

  • I had amnesia once -- or twice.

  • Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

  • There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

  • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

  • Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?



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