Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

  • College is like a woman: You work so hard to get in, and nine months later, you wish you had not come.

  • Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

  • If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  • A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.

  • Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

  • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner

  • There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.



Vampires can't be seen in mirrors

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