As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!
Fine day for a good workout. Let's steal something heavy.
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court.
“Mickey,” the judge said, “I’m sorry. I can’t grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me.”
“I didn’t say she was insane!” exclaimed Mickey. “I said she was fucking Goofy!”
