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“Remember "I" before "E", except in Heineken.”

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Posts Tagged ‘Cricket’

PostHeaderIcon Backyard Cricket Rules!

STANDARD BACKYARD CRICKET RULES

Can’t Get Out First Ball : Curious rule introduced to give the token unco

bastard a reprieve. Smart-arse batsmen use it to hone their reverse sweep –

which becomes interesting when smart-arse bowlers use it to

hone their beamer.

Caught Behind : Since no-one has the desire or the reflexes to stand in the

slips cordon, an edge onto the back fence constitutes instant dismissal. Has

signalled the death of the late cut.

One Hand, One Bounce : This popular innovation (When a fielder can dismiss a

batsman by catching the ball in one hand on the first bounce)is essential to

the very fabric of the sport. Importantly, it means

a game can be organised with a minimum of players. More importantly, it means

you don’t have to put your beer down.

No LBW : When no umpires are available (or trustworthy), the only option is to

can the LBW rule altogether, ensuring cagey batsmen shuffle across the crease

as if test driving a Zimmer frame.

Six And Out (Then Fetch It) : Introduced to combat space and energy

restrictions. It’s rumoured to have been initiated by a hapless bowler living

alongside a pack of Rottweilers.

ESSENTIAL ITEMS –

Esky : Strategically placed at the bowler’s end, the esky is the shrine, the

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