Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

  • Statistics tell us that married men are likely to live 3 years longer than single men. But psychology tells us that married men are more willing to die.

  • I'm not weird... weird is Chinese slippers and break-dance pants!

  • In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined.

  • A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

  • Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

  • The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.

  • God created Man, stood back and admired what he created and said “WOW, this is a perfect creation”, then he proceeded to create woman, stood back and said “Oh well, this one will have to wear makeup”.

  • Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

  • Food has replaced sex in my life .. now I can't even get into my own pants!



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