Posts Tagged ‘Dog’

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”

Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”

“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”

A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog.

“This is a talking dog,” he said. “And you can have him for five dollars.”

The neighbor said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain’t no such animal!”

Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes.

“Please buy me, sir,” he pleaded. “This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk and I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times.”

“Hey!” said the neighbor. “He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?”

“Because,” said the seller, “I’m getting tired of all his lies!”