Posts Tagged ‘Door’

Two guys are sat at the bar. The first one says, “My wife should be on the plane now.”

“Sounds nice” the other replied, “Where’s she going?”

“Nowhere” says the first, “She’s fitting a new bedroom door!”

Three men are sat around the camp fire, knocking back a few whiskeys and chewing the fat. The conversation soon turned to their animals as all the men owned dogs.

The first man said “My dog is called Woodworker. I’ll show you why I chose the name. Go, Woodworker!” and with that the dog grabbed a log from the fire and began chewing it. Within minutes the dog had chewed out a beautiful figurine.

Not to be outdone, the second man said “Well, my dog is called Stoneworker, watch this.” With that he instructed the dog who promptly fetched a rock over and began gnawing away at it. Within minutes the dog and carved out a beautiful stone figurine.

The third man smiled and said “Well my dog’s called Ironworker”. He put the poker into the fire and waited until the tip was glowing red hot.

An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 miles home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom.

When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

The mail carrier had a registered letter that needed a signature for a party on his route. Receiving no response to his knock on the front door, he went around to the back door which he found open, except for the screen door. He knocked. A high pitch voice from inside said, “Come in.”

Upon entering the kitchen, he was confronted by the largest German Shepard he had ever seen. The dog bared his fangs menacingly, forcing the mail man against the wall. The mail man shouted, “Lady, call off you dog before he eats me alive.”

The only response he got was that same high pitch voice coming from the next room saying, “Come in.”

Pressing his body against the wall, he slowly worked his way to the door way leading to the next room. Looking around, he saw the room was empty, except for a parrot in a cage. After the threat from the huge dog, he was becoming quite irate and said to the parrot.