Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
'Hard work never killed anybody', but why take the risk...
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
