Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen fatty....do it and die."

  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.

  • I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!

  • The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.

  • If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

  • An optimist invented the aeroplane, a pessimist invented the parachute.

  • All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though.

  • Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

  • I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.

  • Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.



Who needs a bra?

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