Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !
Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
I just new I was in big trouble at work when the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
My wife says I never listen to her...at least I think that's what she said.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
I ran into Jim at work yesterday. He had been out for a few days with the flu.
I asked him how he was feeling. “I’m better, thanks. You know, it was a
wonderful experience.” he replied.
“Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?” I asked in stunned disbelief.
“Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know that whenever the
mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to
meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying “My husband is home! My husband is
home!”
