Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.

  • It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  • Turtles can breathe through their butts. - heh heh heh

  • They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen fatty....do it and die."

  • According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

  • Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you... Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

  • It's better to have Loved and Lost than to live with an asshole the rest of your life!

  • When something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate, when something bad happens, you drink in order to forget, and when nothing happens, you drink in order to make something happen!

  • I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

  • Failure is not an option. It's bundled with your software.



Unscramble the sentence

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