Posts Tagged ‘Gorilla’

This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla’s enclosure, he noticed the gorilla watching him intently. The man waved at the gorilla, the gorilla waved back. He patted his stomach and the gorilla copied him. He jumped up and down, the gorilla started jumping. He made faces, pull his hair, hopped on one foot, spun in a circle, and beat on his chest. His antics were copied exactly by the gorilla in the cage.

All of a sudden the wind gusted and he got some grit in his eye. The man rubbed his eye, trying to make it better. While doing so he, he stepped closer and closer to the cage. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, banged against the bars, reached out, grabbed the nearly blinded man and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to, the zoo keeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he told the keeper what had happened. The zoo keeper nodded and explained that in gorilla language, pulling down your eyelid means “f— you”.

It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are visiting the local zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps.

As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes wild. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand, grunting and pounding his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. Now try lifting your dress up your thighs … this drives the poor gorilla absolutely crazy.

Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, “Now, tell HIM you have a headache!”

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he’d never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o’clock.

But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.

So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, “Why can’t I touch its fur?” as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it.

Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he’d worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla.

He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.

Suddenly the gorilla went ape and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else’s sports car and drove off.

Two queers, Roger and Bill, are walking through London Zoo one day when they come across the “Rwandan Silverback Gorilla” cage. Sitting upright just inside the bars is an eight foot muscle bound Silverback Gorilla and Bill; being as gay as you like; can’t help but notice its massive, thick penis hanging there.

“OOOoooh….Look at the donger on him Roger!” Squeals Bill excitedly. “I’ve never had one that size in my hand before!

Unable to contain himself, he reaches through the bars and strokes the apple-sized bell-end of the ape. Roger tries to pull his boyfriend away but it’s too late……. the gorilla’s shovel like hands clasp Bill’s wrist and yank him through the bars, into the cage. Roger screams in a gay fashion as Bill is dragged into the gorilla’s bamboo hut.

Whilst in there, Bill is subjected to a very very very rough bout of anal sex with the Silverback. Roger covers his ears to block Bill’s screams and runs to get help. It takes three and a half hours for the Zoo Staff to lure the ape out and fire a tranquilizer dart at its arse. They call an ambulance and Bill is rushed to hospital for major ring piece surgery.

It’s a beautiful, warm spring morning and a couple are spending the day at the zoo. She’s wearing a loose-fitting, spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes mad. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand, he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny, and suggests that his wife teases the poor creature some more. He gets her to pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at the ape, and play along. She does, and the Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and the Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.