Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

  • My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

  • Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  • There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing; just show me somebody naked.'

  • A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.

  • Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

  • A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.

  • I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

  • Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.



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