Posts Tagged ‘I Like Beer’

Three blokes are driving around, drinking beers and having a laugh when the driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car telling him to pull over.
The other two are really worried. “What are we going to do with our beers? We’re in trouble!”

“No,” the driver says, “it’s OK, just pull the label off your bottle and stick them on your foreheads, and the bloke pulls over.

The police officer then walks up and says, “You lads were swerving all around the road back there. Have you been drinking?”

“Oh, no, officer,” says the driver, pointing to his forehead, “We’re trying to give up, so we’re on the patch.”

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say “nice tie!”. Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said “beautiful shirt”.

At this, the man called the bartender over. “Hey…I must be losing my mind,” he told the bartender. “I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there’s not a soul in here but us.”

“It’s the peanuts” answered the bartender.

“Say what?”

“You heard me” said the barkeep.”it’s the peanuts…they’re complimentary.”