Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

  • We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on the son-of-a-bitch who screwed us in the past.

  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • Bricks are horrible to carry.

  • Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

  • Having someone dump you and say "We can still be friends" Is like having your mom say "Your dog died but you can still keep it"

  • If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

  • My reality check bounced.

  • Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

  • A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.



Jeni was sitting in a bar having a drink. This guy walked over and sat down

next to her. He said, “You have that ‘lost’ look in your eyes.” Jeni said,

“You’re close. It’s a ‘get lost’ look.”

Other Text Jokes

  • Text Jokes - Animals

    (187)
    Written jokes about animals, pets, nature, bugs. Despite our best efforts we can't get PETA to sponsor this category.
  • Text Jokes - Bar & Alcohol

    (129)
    Written jokes about drunks and bars. A horse walked into a bar - the barman asked why the long face... you get the idea.
  • Text Jokes - Blonde

    (74)
    All humour websites are required to have written jokes about blondes. We're trying a different approach by portraying blondes in a positive light.
  • Text Jokes - Computers

    (93)
    Written jokes about IT, the office, computers and the people that operate them.
  • Text Jokes - Kids

    (155)
    Written jokes about kids, for kids (parental supervision required). Other peoples kids are always so cute where as it always seems your own kids crawled out of Satan's bottom.
  • Text Jokes - Lawyers

    (16)
    Written jokes about lawyers, normally portraying them in a negative light.
  • Text Jokes - Male & Female

    (836)
    Written jokes about man and woman. Who will win? Our last count saw women leading 2 to 1.
  • Text Jokes - Medical & Doctors

    (86)
    Written antics about doctors, nurses and general failings of the healthcare system.
  • Text Jokes - News & Politics

    (173)
    Written jokes targeting politicians and people in the news.
  • Text Jokes - Random

    (324)
    Written jokes that we were too lazy to categorise. This category pretty much covers everything.
  • Text Jokes - Religion

    (123)
    Written jokes not suitable for religious fanatics. We do not discriminate - we make fun of everyone.
  • Text Jokes - Sports

    (90)
    Written antics about sports and the people that play them.
  • Text Jokes - Stupid People

    (29)
    Text jokes about stupid people. This category is full of darwin awards and "I can't beliive he did that!"