Jeni was sitting in a bar having a drink. This guy walked over and sat down
next to her. He said, “You have that ‘lost’ look in your eyes.” Jeni said,
“You’re close. It’s a ‘get lost’ look.”
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on the son-of-a-bitch who screwed us in the past.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Bricks are horrible to carry.
Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Having someone dump you and say "We can still be friends" Is like having your mom say "Your dog died but you can still keep it"
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
My reality check bounced.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Jeni was sitting in a bar having a drink. This guy walked over and sat down
next to her. He said, “You have that ‘lost’ look in your eyes.” Jeni said,
“You’re close. It’s a ‘get lost’ look.”