Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing; just show me somebody naked.'

  • When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  • I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

  • Remember, half the people you know are below average.

  • I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.

  • How can there be self-help "groups"?

  • My friend is engaged in a major custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back.

  • When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

  • Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...



After beating 1000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft and was promptly eaten by a cat.

In preparation for the 1992 New York Golden Gloves Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke his nose and was disqualified from the match.

While waving to the crowd after finishing fourth in the 500cc US Motor Cycle Championship in 1989, Kevin Magee fell off the machine and broke his leg.

Russian athlete Ivanon Vyacheslav was so thrilled to win a medal at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics that he threw the medal high into the air. It landed in Lake Wendouree, and was never found.

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