Posts Tagged ‘Newspaper’

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a
pet that can do everything. The owner says, “How about a dog?” The man
replies, “Come on, a dog can’t do everything.”

The owner says “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat
certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”

The owner thinks for a minute. Then says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!”
The man says, “Centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything
but, ok … I’ll try a centipede.”

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the
kitchen.” Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it’s
immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and
put away. The countertops cleaned. The appliances sparkling. The floor
waxed. He’s absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes
later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed. The
furniture cleaned and dusted. The pillows on the sofa plumped. The
plants are watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most
amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This is a pet that can really do
everything.”

ILLITERATE? Write today for free help.

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DOG FOR SALE: Eats anything and is fond of children.

STOCK UP AND SAVE. Limit: one.

SEMI ANNUAL AFTER XMAS SALE

DINNER SPECIAL. Turkey $3.25; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

FOR SALE: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

GREAT DAMES for sale.

TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF? Let me do it.