Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • When kleptomania gets really bad, just take something for it.

  • Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

  • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

  • The income tax has made more liars out of people than golf has.

  • Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

  • If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.

  • God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

  • Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

  • Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

  • What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free???



A woman approaches her priest and says to him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?”, the priest asked.

“They only know how to say “Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?”

“That’s terrible!”, the priest exclaimed, “But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible, then my parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.”

“Thank you.” said the lady.

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. The priest’s two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, “Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some FUN?”

One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and says, “PUT THE BIBLES AWAY! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!!”

Other Text Jokes

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    Text jokes about stupid people. This category is full of darwin awards and "I can't beliive he did that!"