Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

  • Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

  • I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

  • People who don't drive, slam car doors too hard.

  • Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'

  • Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a kid a fish, it's gonna die. Have a story ready.

  • Our local Feng Shui Shop went bankrupt in a fortnight. It was in the wrong place.

  • Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "Ctrl-Alt -Delete " and start all over?

  • I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

  • I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.



in_the_mood

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