Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...
Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
If all the veins in your body were laid end-to-end, you'd be dead.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. Unless, of course, they're flying.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
The Pope and Kim Jong-Il are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Kim and says, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”
Kim replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me.”
So the Pope bitch slapped him upside the head!
