Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

  • A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the pants.

  • Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  • Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.

  • A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.

  • Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

  • People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

  • There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

  • My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.



For those of you who ever had any doubts about men who enjoy the rough and tumble of rugby read on.

The best quotes from Sky TVs rugby man, the ubiquitous Murray Mexted!

“You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.”

“He’s looking for some meaningful penetration into the backline.”

“Spencer’s running across field calling out, come inside me, come inside me.”

“I can tell you it’s a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through.”

“I don’t like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him”

“Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of the same today.”

“There’s nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside”

“Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.”

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