
Pirate Underpants
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !
When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.
Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like an order of Indian food. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance.
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.

Pirate Underpants