
This is gonna be a short fight...
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
I'm a freelance gynaecologist
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Some mornings I wake up grumpy, other mornings I just let her sleep!
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

This is gonna be a short fight...