Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

  • Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?

  • They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen fatty....do it and die."

  • Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

  • Statistics tell us that married men are likely to live 3 years longer than single men. But psychology tells us that married men are more willing to die.

  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

  • Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

  • Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.

  • If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

  • I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.



Two Zimbabweans are on a bicycle about 15 miles outside of Manchester. One of the bike’s tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town.  A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help, and the Zimbabweans ask him for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Zimbabweans put it to the driver that  if they can manage to fit into the back with their bike, will he take them  back into town and he agrees.  They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts the hammer down and sure  enough,  a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The lady officer asks the driver  what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies “Zimbabwean  eggs.”

The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn’t believe this so wants to take a look in the trailer.

She opens  the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. She gets on her radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible  plus the Swat Team..  The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that require  so many officers.

“I’ve got a Tractor-Trailer stopped with 20,000 Zimbabwean eggs in it. Two have hatched and they’ve already managed to steal a bicycle.”

Other Text Jokes

  • Text Jokes - Animals

    (187)
    Written jokes about animals, pets, nature, bugs. Despite our best efforts we can't get PETA to sponsor this category.
  • Text Jokes - Bar & Alcohol

    (129)
    Written jokes about drunks and bars. A horse walked into a bar - the barman asked why the long face... you get the idea.
  • Text Jokes - Blonde

    (74)
    All humour websites are required to have written jokes about blondes. We're trying a different approach by portraying blondes in a positive light.
  • Text Jokes - Computers

    (93)
    Written jokes about IT, the office, computers and the people that operate them.
  • Text Jokes - Kids

    (155)
    Written jokes about kids, for kids (parental supervision required). Other peoples kids are always so cute where as it always seems your own kids crawled out of Satan's bottom.
  • Text Jokes - Lawyers

    (16)
    Written jokes about lawyers, normally portraying them in a negative light.
  • Text Jokes - Male & Female

    (836)
    Written jokes about man and woman. Who will win? Our last count saw women leading 2 to 1.
  • Text Jokes - Medical & Doctors

    (86)
    Written antics about doctors, nurses and general failings of the healthcare system.
  • Text Jokes - News & Politics

    (173)
    Written jokes targeting politicians and people in the news.
  • Text Jokes - Random

    (324)
    Written jokes that we were too lazy to categorise. This category pretty much covers everything.
  • Text Jokes - Religion

    (123)
    Written jokes not suitable for religious fanatics. We do not discriminate - we make fun of everyone.
  • Text Jokes - Sports

    (90)
    Written antics about sports and the people that play them.
  • Text Jokes - Stupid People

    (29)
    Text jokes about stupid people. This category is full of darwin awards and "I can't beliive he did that!"