Men :
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job
to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
we’d like to have dinner with.
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming----wow----what a ride!!
Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee.
Drinking more than seven nights a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible.
Some people kiss with their eyes closed. Too bad they marry the same way.
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Finally, my ship came in ... and as expected, it's leaking.
Men :
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job
to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
we’d like to have dinner with.