Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • My reality check bounced.

  • Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

  • Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"

  • Fine day for a good workout. Let's steal something heavy.

  • If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

  • If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

  • Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  • Thank You For Pot Smoking!!



A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by safari wagon.

The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, “Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”