Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

  • I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

  • I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

  • When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

  • They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

  • Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the Universe are pointed away from Earth?

  • Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'

  • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

  • Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

  • The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.



A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by safari wagon.

The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, “Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”