Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

  • In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

  • A flat will occur when you are without a spare. This will happen after your significant other has reminded you to get one. He/She will be in the car.

  • The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

  • According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

  • 'Hard work never killed anybody', but why take the risk...

  • The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.

  • Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

  • Needing someone is like needing a parachute, if they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.



On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, “And get me a coke, you cow!”

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls “And get me another coke dogface!”

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach. “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!”

The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.

Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, “For someone who can’t fly, you’ve got some guts!”