Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all people who opposed them.
I'm a freelance gynaecologist
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?
Love is grand; divorce is quite a few more grand.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL convertible.
'Hard work never killed anybody', but why take the risk...
I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.
Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the maitre’d
there will be at least a twenty minute wait and would he like to
wait in tthe bar. He goes into the bar and the bartender says,
”What’ll it be?”
The man replies, “Give me a Stoli with a twist.”
The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and
says, “Once upon time were four little pigs…”
