Random Thought
“My wife is so ugly... A cannibal took one look at her and ordered salad.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Woman who drink!

TO ALL WOMEN WHO DRINK – THE 18 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT

YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN:

  1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

  2. You’ve just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.

  3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone’s ass.

  4. On your last trip to the bathroom you realized you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

  5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.

  6. There are less than 3 hours before you’re due to start work.

  7. You’ve found a deeper side to the office nerd.

  8. The man you’re flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

  9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

  10. You’ve forgotten where you live.

  11. You’ve started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you’ve smoked, because (as you’ve mentioned, like 10 times by now) you only smoke when you drink.

  12. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that’s just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.

  13. You think you’re in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.

  14. You start every conversation with a booming, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but….”

  15. You fail to notice that the toilet lid’s down when you sit on it.

  16. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

  17. You’re tired so you just sit down on the floor (and why not!).

  18. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.


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