Random Thought
“I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Unpublished childrens books!


  1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch

  2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert

  3. Fox In Detox

  4. Who Shat in the Hat?

  5. Horton Hires a Ho

  6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax

  7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day

  8. Your Colon Can Moo – Can You?

  9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil

  10. The Cat in the Blender

  11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!

  12. Are You My Proctologist?

  13. Yentl the Lentil

  14. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket

  15. Aunts in My Pants

“Little Golden Books That Never Made It”

  1. You Are Different and That’s Bad

  2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

  3. Dad’s New Wife Robert

  4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

  5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

  6. The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking

  7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

  8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

  9. All Cats Go to Hell

  10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

  11. Some Kittens Can Fly

  12. That’s it, I’m Putting You Up for Adoption

  13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

  14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

  15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukaemia

  16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

  17. Strangers Have the Best Candy

  18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

  19. You Were an Accident

  20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

  21. Pop! Goes The Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games

  22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan

  23. Your Nightmares Are Real

  24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

  25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

  26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

  27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

  28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

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