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PostHeaderIcon Star Wars vs. Titanic

Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic

* The Titanic is big, but it doesn”t have hyperdrive.

* Yoda could”ve used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.

* Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material. Rose

is just marriage bait.

* Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.

* It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman

with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

* Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic

characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to

Admiral.

* We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his

fiancĂ©e like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy ”cause he

strangles people & blows up planets for fun.

* Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? *NOTE* Is this a scary

premonition: Anakin DeCaprio?

* Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.

* There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.

* If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would

use the Force to get the key.

* Nothing has the same sting as “I”d rather kiss a Wookie.”

* Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply

freezes.

* Han Solo would”ve steered clear of that stinkin” iceberg!

* We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could”ve anticipated, “Luke….I

am your father”?

* Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in

Titanic was a minor character.

* When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet

earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of himself at the Oscars.

* Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband, 3) pose nude for

pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if you”re infatuated, 5) let undesirables

drown.

* Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect all life even if

it”s ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess, 5) save planet.


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