Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

  • Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

  • Failure is not an option. It's bundled with your software.

  • The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name...

  • Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

  • Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...

  • By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

  • The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

  • Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

  • Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.



One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon.

He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?”

The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it. It tasted unpleasant.

“Does that taste sweet to you?” says Paddy.

“No, not at all,” says the chemist, pulling a face.

“Oh that’s a relief,” says Paddy. “The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”