Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

  • Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

  • What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free???

  • There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

  • Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.

  • Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.

  • Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"

  • A bachelor is a man who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

  • According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.



There were once three guys with no dicks. They all went to the doctor’s.

The first guy says, “Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to help me!”

“What’s the problem?” asks the doctor.

“I have no dick!”

So the doctor gives him a metal dick and tells him to come back in a week.

The next guy comes in and says, “Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to help me!”

“What’s wrong?” the doctor asks.

“I have no dick!”

The doctor gives him a wooden dick and tells him to come back in a week.

The last guy comes in and has the same problem. The doctor gives him an electrical dick, and also tells him to come back in a week.

A week later,the first guy with the metal dick goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, doctor, I hate you, I hate you!”

“Why?” asks the doctor.

“Well, everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she starts to shiver!” He walks out.

The next guy with the wooden dick comes in and says, “Doctor! I hate you!”

“Why?” the doctor asks.

“Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters up there!” He walks out.

The last guy with the electrical dick walks in and says, “Doctor, doctor! I love you, I love you!”

“Why?”

“Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, her boobs light up!”