Random Thought
“It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon How to do things!

MAKE COFFEE

Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It”s got

to be hot. You”ve got to take your time. You”ve got to stir…gently, and

firmly. You”ve got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put

in the milk.

LAY A CARPET

Laying a carpet is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You

check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her,

then walk all over her. If you”re adventurous – like me – you might like to

try an underlay.

HANG WALLPAPER

Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful

woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover

her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your

pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

PUT UP A TENT

Putting up a tent, is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an”… slip in to the old

bag.

WASH A CAR

Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You”ve

got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch

of it your loving attention. And make sure you”ve got a nice wet sponge.

BE IN THERAPY

…And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful

woman. You… get on the couch, string ”em along with some half-lies and

evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

SURVIVE A CRASH

Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual

carriage-way, is… very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First

of all, brace yourself, hold on tight – particularly if it”s a rear-ender.

…And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

GO FISHING

Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of

all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and

remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then,

extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or

any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make

sure you”ve got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there”s

plenty of shot in your bag.


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