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PostHeaderIcon Husband 1.0 Tech support!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0.

It wasn”t long before I noticed that the new programme began making

significant changes to the accounting modules, which severely limited

access to wardrobe, flower and jewellery applications – all of which had

operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention was made of this in the product brochure, I have also noticed

that Husband 1.0 has uninstalled several valuable programmes, in particular

Dinner/Dancing 7.5, TheatreGoing 2.3, and ExoticHoliday 6.1 and has

installed some new very undesirable programmes such as FridayNightFootball

5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.

I”ve also found that Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and HouseCleaning 2.6

invariably crashes the system.

I”ve tried running Nag 5.3 to fix the problems, but nothing seems to help!

Please advise at your earliest convenience!

Desperate.

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Dear Desperate,

This is a very common problem, caused mainly by a primary misconception.

Many people upgrade without really understanding that Boyfriend 5.0 is

simply an entertainment package. Husband 1.0 on the other hand, is an

operating system designed to run as few applications as possible, and

certainly not in any kind of multitasking role. Further, you will find

that you are unable to uninstall, delete or purge Husband 1.0 and

re-install Boyfriend 5.0, because hidden system files simply cause

Boyfriend 5.0 to crash without warning.

Can we suggest that you read the section regarding General Partnership

Faults (GPFs) within your help screen? This is a feature of Husband 1.0

and an integral part of the operating system. To activate this feature,

enter the command: C:I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. Sometimes this command

needs to be run in conjunction with Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then

automatically run the applications Apologise 12.3 and Flowers 7.8.

We would advise against excessive use of this command line, however, as

overuse can cause serious GPF”s and you may have to enter the command:

C:OKAY I APOLOGISE before things will return to normal. We have found

that excessive use can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence

2.5 and, in extreme cases, to revert to GoneUpThePub 6.1 and Beer 7.5.

Beer 7.5 is a very bad programme that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fatbelly

files and snoring Loudly wave files which are difficult to delete.

You are advised NOT under any circumstances, to install the programme

Motherinlaw 1.0, as this application is not supported and will cause the

selective shutdown of Husband 1.0

Finally do remember that, whilst Husband 1.0 is a great programme, it does

have limited memory, cannot learn new applications quickly, and will often

cause errors. We would recommend that you consider the purchase of

additional software to improve Husband 1.0”s performance, such as HotFood

5.3, Lingerie 3.0 and the very latest Patience 10.1

We hope this helps.

Regards,

Tech Support


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