Random Thought
“Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Keeping the ship clean!

Two ship captains were sitting at the bar one night getting good and

lit when one turned to the other and said, “You know what gets me,

though, is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they’re fine for the first few

weeks, but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard

up. With all the whacking off going on, it’s a wonder any work is getting

done, and it’s making a mess all over the ship. I don’t know what to


The other captain smiles knowingly at his companion. “Oldest trick in

the book. You take the crew and divide them into two teams. Then you

buy about 50 barrels and put them on the ship. You tell the crew that the

team that fills the most barrels wins a bag of gold.”

“Well that’s a great way to keep the ship clean, but then I’m out a

bag of gold every trip!”

“Not so,” replied the other captain. “After you get back to port,

take all the barrels together and sell them to the wax factory to make

into candles. You make a tidy profit every time.”

The captain pondered this and the next day, he took his friend’s

advice and divided the crew, bought a bunch of barrels, and set off to sea.

Before long, the crew took to the new system and began filling barrel

after barrel.

When they finally reached port, the captain sold the barrels for a

huge profit. ‘This is great,’ thought the captain, ‘before long, I’ll be

able to buy a new boat!’

This went on, voyage after voyage. Then one day, the ship happened

back to that very first port. Coming down the gangplank, the captain was

surprised to see the cops waiting for him. As they slapped the cuffs

on him, the captain cried out, “What’s the meaning of this?!”

“You sick bastard,” replied the cop. “Remember all those barrels you

sold to the candle factory last time you passed through town?”

“Sure,” said the captain. “What about ’em?!”

“Well, they made them into candles, sold them to the convent, and now

all the nuns are pregnant!”

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