Random Thought
“The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Military retirement

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an

early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight

away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a

straight line between any two points on the general’s body, with the

general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension

man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six

feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip

of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with

check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to

measure, he told the pension man: “From the tip of my penis to the

bottom of my testicles.” The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general

might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two

generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said

that would be fine but that he’d better get the medical officer to do the


The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop ’em. He

did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general’s

penis and began to work back. “My God!” he said. “Where are your


The general replied, “In Vietnam.”

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