It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. Unless, of course, they're flying.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Statistics tell us that married men are likely to live 3 years longer than single men. But psychology tells us that married men are more willing to die.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Last night, my adult kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
They are such assholes.
